SHITTIEST MOPED EVER + Funny Puch prank to pull on friends.

So I think this is it, my answer to the "shittiest moped ever?" debate. The 1987 Kamasura, FINAL ANSWER. This is excluding the AMF roadmaster of course. But to tell you the truth.... the roadmasters I've rode give me a humble funny feeling, these just piss me off. So ok lets first talk about the basics, it's a Chinese Sach clone.... need I say more? I'm going to rant on this one so excuse me if I go astray. Here are some pics I took of one laying around the shop, as well as some MA pics.

 OK this is like a bad dream. LOOK AT THE REAR SHOCKS? WTF? Are you kidding me? This is the moped we would all be issued if we killed ourselves and when to wristcuttersville. Picture me and Tom Waits hating our lives and riding 2 mph through the desert, with Gogol Bordello playing in the background. Barf.

THAT SHOULD BE A TURTLE.

HAHAHAHA WHY. I think these rims are for like 1.5 tires found on early recumbent bikes from your nightmare. Frame built by the same kids who made the erector set Babe Ruth ball launcher in "Sandlot".

 I dare you to just blow these up to the original size and look for longer than 10 seconds. Those forks are off of a Mech Warrior action figure.

 

All plastics on there were actually gathered from the Titanic wreckage to save money. OH and thank god there is a front rack to carry a gun in to kill myself when I realize this thing will never top 24mph and everyone is frowning at me.

GOD I love the reverse rake of these shocks, great for when I ride on my taillight from the 1800's.

 WAZ THIS? Dual gas tanks? (other one not on downtube removed from this particular bike)

Translation from Chinese: "Your Funeral"

NEXT: Funny Puch Prank! 

See how well your friend can tune his clutch with these..... "yea bud I just do 2 1/2 turns in from flush!"

KTM frame, Mobylette, Grande....+ rando pics + winter rant.

Been having fun working at Austin Mopeds. I feel like Jimbo, Lester and I are a good team because we are all real gay nerds. Jimbo talks about selling panties on craigslist from a cloud of smoke, Lester smiles big like a happy Asian while rethreading things, and I just look for the magic pliers and my keys. The shop is really fun to work at because I feel like I actually want to work there and do a good job. While working I try to snap pics of things I think are interesting or look cool. Here are a few pictures I took this week.

Also it's so warm here compared to the midwest. While its fun to wear t-shirts and ride all year round I have to admit that I miss the snow. I miss being snowed in, I miss snowey movies (The Thing, The Shining, Ice Pirates, Storm of The Century, Dreamcatcher...), I miss rebuilding engines next to space heaters, I miss crashing peds on ice and just laying there and laughing with your friend who crashed because they hit you. Don't take winter for granted, its like foreplay for mopedders..

 Confused in the morning carrying around a Coffee baby.

Mobylette : OH YOU FANCY HUH?

 KTM frame, came with 504 that attached to a bracket which attached to the frame. Rumored to fit multiple engines due to more holes in the frame. If you remove the 504 brackets an E50 fits right in, but ZA50 requires minor frame hacking on the clutch side. While I had the E50 dropped I held a V1 up in the slot and I can say that you'll need to do some frame hacking to get it in there.

 

ZAPARTY YALL.

Bubba's Vespa Grande.

Vespa Malossi Cases nom nom nom

 I got a new VCR for watching videos real close while I BLOG DUDE.

 I throw this up when I'm feelin Frisky. TRIFECTA WHAT WHAT!

East Side Hate Boys Noped Club, these dudes are fucking insane.

Removing Motobecane motor mounts and random crap photos.

Today while trying to overcome my Moby demons.... we made a goofy tool for removing the motor mounts.
What you'll need:
4-5 inch long bolt and nut
1 1/4 socket (bigger would probably work too but this one fits just right)
a couple washers, 1 as big or a little bigger than the motor mount's circumference. the other to go between the big washer and the nut.
tools to tighten them down
a hammer
a long bolt or bar to hit things with.

First thing is to put the washers on the inside of the mount and the socket on the outside (seen below). Then tighten up everything tight and make sure it's all lined up.

 Next from the other side, line up a rod on the bolt and smack it with a hammer. This might take a few wacks but it will break the mount free and slide it a few mm's. Then tighten the whole setup again and repeat the hammering. Do this over and over until the mount has finally slid through and into the 1 1/4th socket. Done!

Here are some rando shop photos from this week.

Solo engine photo shoot for reference. Cool little stock water cooled engines, case inducted, strange bing, weird pancake pipe (the insides are like labyrinths, I saw David Bowie contact juggling in there). these have many similarities and swappable parts with Batavus mopeds.

 Double Swaggin photo op. Well atleast I think I'm cute.

 Predetonation? YA THINK?

Stuntin Hero-Majestic Panther styley.

Random moped photos.

Here are a bunch of random photos from this week at Austin Mopeds.

 MLM Batavus pipe passed the ballistics tests.

This homeless guy was looking for rip its and a polini racer seat pad, luckily we had both.

Batavus Bronco. SICK! look at those bars, striping,  pipe, seat! the seat tilts back when you sit in it, you feel like a boss.

Highway bars? sweet striping!

Rico telling it how it is.

OH MY GOD. Customer's sexy 1980 Peugeot 103 U2. This had a sweet rack and the 5 coil ignition. Cream and Olive Green, picture me rollin! Would love to have this as a stock ripper.

Treats is at it again. Hey is that "Mike Biery from the internet"?

Shaq approves of this 70cc pug head for my build.